Summer = Work :(

So I get out of school in like four weeks and I am supposed to come home and work over the summer. Lets just say I do not find any enjoyment in the idea of me being stuck in Bakersfield for three months working! It is not that I don't want to work, it is just that I don't really want to be in Bakersfield and I don't want to do something that I know I am totally going to hate! I don't think I would mind working if I could work at a book store or babysitting kids all summer, but those jobs are extremely hard to get! I definitely do not want to work at fast food place or in retail... especially at the mall! Those jobs just sound so horrible and I would hate working there. I guess working at a cute little boutique downtown would not be bad... but lets face it, I am not a size -2! I know I probably shouldnt be so picky about working this summer, but I just have no desire to work.

All I want to do is travel!! I want to travel so much this summer and experience so much. I want to be able to drive up and see my friends when I want, I want to be able to go to the beach on a whim, and I want to do stuff right now I know I wont be able to soon. Right now I have nothing tying me down and nothing making me stay in one place so why not take the time to travel and still have fun? Bakersfield has nothing to offer me and the rest of the world offers me everything! I know that I am going to have to settle down soon and actually become responsible-- I just want to enjoy my last summer of being young. As soon as the summer is over I will be back at school and working and that will be my life for the rest of my life.

I wouldn't mind working somewhere where I only had to work three or four days a week but where would that be? Plus, just starting out and knowing I will only be working for the summer there is no way I will get any vacation time, and I need that! We have planned a family vacation in July that is about two weeks so what am I supposed to do then; quit? I am happy I am going on vacation with the family in July, but we are roadtripping it through Arizona, Utah and Colorado-- I've already been there and have already experienced all of it! I want to travel the world and learn about it and the cultures and everything everyone else has to offer. There is so much to learn and so much to see and I just want to do it.

My dad pretty much laughed at me when I spoke to him about it, but he just doesn't understand. He doesn't understand my unhappiness about being stuck in the same place and having nothing to look forward to. He gets to do whatever he wants and travels half way around the world for work. He isn't stuck in a rut with no way to get out. Plus, I think of all times to ask my dad for something this is the only time I have deserved to ask. He let me do basically whatever I wanted when I was in high school and I never deserved any of it. I never should have been allowed to go to Europe or on the journalism trips, but my dad let me. So why wont he let me travel now?? I even have this great idea that I am going to pitch to him soon: if he lets me travel a little bit during the weeks he is not home, I will stay home and help Jerie with the house. She wants to re-do the yards and she wants to paint and get the new house together. She def. does not want to do it herself and she is always tired when I talk to her, so I think it would be a good idea. Then I could even volunteer somewhere a couple of hours a week (my therapist suggested it) and I would feel like I was doing something useful with my life.

I don't know if I just sound crazy, spoiled, unappreciative or what, but its how I feel. I really just want to become cultured and know about the world rather than just about the western part of America. Maybe because I know first hand how short life is I am having such strong feelings on this issue, but I just really want to travel.